i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
