I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I could make wine with my vomit
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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