just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
