Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
are you so shy because you have an std?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
