Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
