so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
