I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
