So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
