it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
