yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
