put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
