I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
