Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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