he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
