I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
