dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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