i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
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