You can't special order awesome
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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