You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
