Heybabeimwearingurpanties
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
