cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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