Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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