just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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