porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
