Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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