Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
