My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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