he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
