I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
