a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
