That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
