Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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