guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
