Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
