3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
