she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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