Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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