i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
