I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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