She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
