wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
