i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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