if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So apparently I’m into choking now
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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