now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
True strength comes from lack of pants
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
