I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
