Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
