So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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