I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
