Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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