Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
