He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
