at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize