How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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