either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
