I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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