just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
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You. Win. At. Life.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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