She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
