I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
