My nipple is on Facebook.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
