I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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