Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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