I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize