next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
