Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize