The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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