Swine flu. Run for my life!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
